In Tragedy, a true crime podcast, we discuss missing persons cases, violent crime, and other sensitive topics that may be difficult for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. Our show is a place where every story matters and every voice deserves to be heard. To support this podcast, you can subscribe at www.tragedy a true crime podcast.com for early access to new episodes. And join our Facebook community, Tragedy, a True Crime Podcast, for updates, discussions, and ways to support the families we feature. Welcome to Tragedy, a True Crime Podcast. I'm Elisa. And I'm Michael. Grief touches every member of a family differently. And for those who love a child, whether by birth, marriage, or simply by heart, the loss leaves a space that never quite closes. Today we're joined by Heather Cook, Crystal's stepmom. Heather has walked beside this family through unimaginable heartbreak, carrying memories of Crystal while also helping preserve her voice and legacy more than two decades after her murder in 2000. Families impacted by violent crime often live in the tension between remembering the person they loved and navigating a system that never fully lets them move on. Something brought back into focus during the parole hearing this past March of 2026 for the person serving time in Crystal's case. Heather is here to help us understand the quieter side of loss, the family moments, the memories, and the determination to make sure Crystal is remembered for who she was. We'll also talk about the ongoing work of the Crystal Rose Cook nonprofit and what it means to create something lasting in Crystal's honor. Heather, thank you for being here and welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. We want to start out with having our listeners understand um your relationship with Crystal. And so we know that you are married to Lee, uh, Crystal's dad, and we have had Lee on the show in a couple of episodes, and that was extremely powerful. And we appreciate that your family has partnered with us. And so tell us a little bit um about Lee and how you came to this family. Well, um, we went to the same church on Crystal's 17th birthday, um, was the first time that Lee spoke to me, and we talked a little bit, and then he was having a birthday party for her, and so he had to go. And um then two weeks later she disappeared, and so I honestly never even got to meet her. We spent hours searching for her um as we got to know each other, I guess you could call it our our dating. Um some of it was spent searching for her, and we just thought at that point that she was maybe a runaway. We never thought that the unimaginable had happened, and um, but we did get some um oh some information, and so we were out on search parties and um that kind of stuff, and then we got married a few months later. That is, I think, a different way to experience your first maybe year or so with someone new to you. I don't know that I've ever had anybody explain a relationship um in that way. Um, so thank you for sharing that. Can you you talked a little bit about when she first went missing? So can you take us back to those first days and what you remember about maybe those first few days and week when she was missing? I think at that point everybody pretty much just thought that for some reason she ran away or, you know, she was upset with people or something. And so, you know, she was just, I don't know, not necessarily hiding out, but maybe like with friends or or something, and just didn't want to talk to people be found. We just really didn't know what was going on or where she was, and um it was very hard. Um, I didn't know Lee very well, I didn't know the rest of the family, hardly at all, and um so her grandmother um was very upset and looking for her, and um it it was really hard because we were starting a a relationship, and when we had met in church, we knew that this was something from the Lord. We very much believed that. Um, and so trying to start that relationship and know that that was from the Lord, and then having Crystal missing was very hard. Um it's one of those things where you want to be happy and you want to um start this new life, but then there's this piece that's missing, and so even when we got married, we got married like lots of people think it was very fast, and it was, but it was like five months later, um, and Crystal was still missing, and at that time, I we still just didn't believe that something had actually bad had happened to her, because I think you just don't want to believe that you don't want to even go there, and so um Lee had come to and come to me and asked me, we had our our wedding date actually set, and so we were I had Crystal planned in into the wedding and everything, thinking, oh, she'll be back and you know, had her dress figured out and that kind of thing. And um he came to me and just asked me if I would be willing to just get married and not have the the big ceremony and all that, because it would be very hard on the family to try and celebrate something like that when this other was going on. And so we did. We just went to the church, no, no um people there, nothing, just a couple of friends standing up for us, and and then we had planned on when Crystal returned, um, going ahead and and having a a ceremony and having um the kids and stuff in it at that point because I had two two children also, and so um then the kids would be in the ceremony. So I don't know if that even answered your question. Yes, I what is sticking out to me um is what what I hear in your voice was is hope. And we hear this um from our families that we are supporting now who are experiencing um a missing child, whether it's an adult child or a younger child, and they have said that um one of our moms in particular of an adult child who's been missing for a little over a year, she says to me, like, I want to go on vacation, but I don't want to go anywhere because he's gonna come home. And what if I'm not here when he comes home? And that's what I'm hearing you talking about is the planning for when Crystal were to come back. Yes. One question I have is we've we've been very critical of law enforcement agencies that just jump to the conclusion that someone ran away whenever they turn up missing the first time. But it sounds to me like you guys me you kind of made that assumption to start with. And I'm curious if there's anything going on that kind of led to that. No, I don't think there really was. I mean, I think she was un maybe unhappy a a little bit with um I had heard that she was unhappy like with her parents' divorce and stuff like that. But I mean, most children are. I think maybe it was more of that hope of you're hoping that that's what happened. Because like on some of these, you know, I we went out on a search party and you're walking through grass, you know. I was walking through grass up to my waist, and you're hoping that you find something, but then you're also praying and praying and praying that you don't find something because if you do, that means you know, something bad happened. If you don't, there's still that hope. So there was always there was always a hope until you find out, I guess, that until you know the truth. Because there have been, you know, there there have been people that have been missing. There's there's stories of people that have been missing and and they found them. You know, so that is always the hope that they will be found and they will be safe and alive and um, you know, come home. And those stories are happening more and more as advances in DNA and familial DNA and genetic genealogy are happening. I just saw one a couple of weeks ago where uh a woman had gone missing and she was found and she had actually opted out. Like she just left. And 30 years later, someone says, This lady looks a lot like this picture, and sure enough, that was her. Yeah. So that like that, I think that was just a couple of weeks ago. And then, you know, of course, we know about the horrible case in Ohio several years ago, and um, you know, Elizabeth Smart. So right, like we as followers of true crime, we we hear those um stories quite frequently and the importance of hope. So so you started to talk a little bit about when you when the family learned what had happened to Crystal. So when the reality of what happened came to light, how did your family begin to process something so devastating? Well, um boy, that's really hard to to think about or remember. Um Lee had a very hard time. He spent a lot of time, I know, just laying on the bed and um just checked out, I guess is the best way to say um yeah, I I'm not really sure how to describe it. I mean, I I wasn't around the rest of the family all that much at that point. So it's hard for me to um say how other people were reacting. Um maybe I can give a more um specific question. I think it would be helpful for our listeners um to remember the timeline. So we you did a very nice job of establishing your relationship with Lee and the uh time frame in in which Crystal's disappearance is is right around that same time. So, how long had you all been married when you discovered that Crystal had been murdered? Okay, so we got married in June, the beginning of June, and she was discovered in I believe February it all came out. Um, close to the end of it, it's just at a year. It was right at a year of when she had been missing that the truth came out. So we had married Yeah, you're still newlyweds, yes at this point. And so how did that then change the course of your family's life? Well, well, it was very hard because I was actually pregnant. Um I had gotten pregnant right af right after we got married. Um people thought that we got married because of that, but no, that was not. We got married because the Lord told us that's what to do. And so when Crystal was found, I was very pregnant. And um during her memorial service, I was very pregnant. The um the graveside service, the day of that, I was having contractions and I was praying and praying and praying so hard um that the baby would not come that day because I could not imagine Lee having to bury his oldest daughter and then had his baby daughter born the same day. Um and she wasn't, thankfully. She waited for another week, but um, and then when Hannah was born, and Hannah's the one that you talked to before, she was born like a week later, and that was really hard. But then also that's really what saved Lee. Um and we we have talked about it, and he he has said, in fact, he even told me, I think it was this morning or yesterday morning, that that Hannah and I saved him. And at that, at that time, if it wasn't for us and and his faith in the Lord, at that at that time he was very, very well, he still is, but at that time he was very strong with his faith in the Lord. And so his faith in the Lord and me and then Hannah were what saved him because if it wasn't for us, I I don't think he would have survived through that, and he doesn't think he would have survived through that. Um so I don't know if that answers the question. Yeah, I I believe that there's a lot to be said about faith, spirituality, whatever resonates with people and families. And it does seem in your case that there's a very strong purpose for bringing you all together in the timeframe that you were brought together, because it doesn't feel like coincidence to me in in the way that you describe this story. No, and at that time too, so people grieve in different ways. And at that point, there was a starting of a split in the family. Um and because of all of this and just people's feelings and grieving and everything, it started a a very big split in Lee's family for many years, and that split went for eight years um before it was patched up with his parents and in his family. So because of that, Lee and I and Hannah and then um my other children, um we ended up being more of the family unit, and we were kind of well Lee and Hannah and I ended up kind of being um on our own for many years. We did not have that family anymore for many years. You bring up a good point when you talk about grief, and I think people are doing a much better job just holistically of acknowledging um any kind of grief that people are going through. And I think the next big step is to start to acknowledge trauma that people and families are experiencing. And so grief and trauma together, people experience those in different ways, and sometimes it does create fractures. Um and and people need time, not really to heal, because we've learned through Lee that justice is never served and it's always something that you're chasing, and healing never happens, but to at least maybe move forward a little bit and bring the family back together. So this story is a little different than um some of the families, all of the families actually that we've served, because you all um have experienced a trial and a parole hearing, and the person responsible for Crystal's murder is serving time, which is something we haven't experienced with the families that we serve. Uh, so let I would like to talk a little bit about that trial and the parole hearing. And let's start with um the trial. And what are your recollections? What are your most vivid recollections about that process? And again, we're really leaning on you all to support our families whom we know we've been serving, who will be in in your spot at some point in the future. Well, the original trial, we did not go to. Um, we went one day and there was some things being talked about, and we could not handle it. And um rightfully so. I mean, they were describing what had actually happened, what had taken place. And sometimes people just cannot handle that. And um, so I went I went by myself for the sentencing. I did go to the sentencing and for that I just feel like he there was no remorse, there was no um accountability, there was nothing from him, from Michael Andes. Um the judge was very good. Um, I think maybe I don't know if you have what the judge had said that original sentencing, and he had said that um that was basically all he could give him, but if he had his choice, he would do more um in his sentencing. I don't think he would have ever given him even the chance of parole. But that's um from the law, that's all he could give him. For me, I really feel like I have very strong feelings on this, that if somebody commits murders and can hide that for a year and can go out with family members looking or pretending like they don't know what happened, and it's proven without a doubt that they should never have any kind of rights ever again. They should be locked away. Well, I believe in capital punishment, so I believe in his case there should be an execution. If you do something like that and it's 100% proven, I know there's times that it's not proven. And so, you know, I don't believe that the capital punishment should be that. But when it isn't like in his case, and he did it, and he deliberately planned this and did it, um I don't I don't believe the laws should be what that judge his hands were tied on what he could do. And I don't believe that they should have been. And that gets into a lot of also what he's been doing in prison and um our prison system and the flaws of that that we have found out from the parole hearing. So back to the original question. I was not in the courtroom. I'm sorry. No, that's okay. I think what you're speaking to is the difference from state to state. You know, like yes, that's just the way our justice elements of our justice system work works, that different states get to legislate different outcomes. In some states, the capital punishment is just not an option. Um and so I mean to some, I think it might, to me, it feels like a little bit of an imbalance, but then I also understand, you know, there are certain things that are federal issues and there are certain things that are state issues. I think that one should be a federal issue. Yeah, I think there are several people who who might agree with that. So let's talk about the parole hearing. Um, when you learned that there would be a parole hearing in March of this year, what emotion surfaced immediately? Oh not knowing what to expect. Um thinking that we were going to have to go through this again, but not sure like in what degree it was going to be not really knowing what to expect, honestly, because um obviously we hadn't been through one, but um definitely did not expect to be treated the way that we were treated from the um supposedly victim's advocate or victims person that was supposed to be there for us. Um just the whole knowing that it was all being brought up again and really feeling like we should not be having to go through this again. Um I don't know what else. Well, one one thing that's that I'm interested in or certainly curious about is should we send this these recordings over to the victim's advocate? I'd like to I'd like for her to hear firsthand how how good of a job that everyone thinks that she did. Because it's it's been it's been heartbreaking for me to hear that part of the story every single time. And, you know, it makes me angry, and I was I wasn't even there, and I'm just angry hearing about it. Yes. It was it it was very disheartening because you know it's hard enough that you have to go through this again and it all has to come up again. And then to have somebody trying to get people to not come, trying because there's not enough room in the in the court or the room that we were in, there wasn't enough space for that many people. Well, you know what? Find a different space. If there is that many people that want to come and support a victim's family, they should be allowed to come. There should be no restrictions on how many people can be there. And I feel like if more people were able to do that, that the parole board I would think that would have a huge impact on the parole board, knowing that there's this many people there in support of the victim and the victim's family to keep this person locked away. Oh, yeah. I mean, that'll the the volume of people alone tells a story. And if you have you have a parole hearing and you can't find a space large enough to get everyone who's actually advocating for the victim and the victim's family, to me that has to be compelling to the people who are making those decisions. Yes. Yes, and then to act put out because she had to do her job and do all of the, because you have to have background checks and you know, and then even the day that we were there, you know, they had three different groups of people, because you could only take so many in through the prison um gates at a time, and they had to take three groups of people in, at least. There might have been more than three groups that they had to take, but um, and then because the hearing went longer, you know, she was upset that she had to change things and schedules and all of that. And to me, I mean, she had told us, you know, we'll bring your snacks and and but it will be cut off at four hours. Well, it went for eight, and people didn't have enough to eat, people didn't have enough to drink. If that was my job, I would have food there for for the people, I would have water there for people, I would have support of are you doing okay? Is there anything I can get you? Is there anything I can do for you? And there was none of that. None of that at all. What I'm thinking about is the responsibility of people who are involved, um, whether it's someone who's missing or an unsolved homicide, whether it's lawyers or law enforcement or victims advocates, and their responsibility to serve the families. Um, they are in place in my mind to serve and support the families. And I can hear from your family from speaking with Lee, from speaking with Hannah, and speaking with you, that you all were not going to take no or anything like a no as an answer. And we have other families that we've been serving and supporting. And this is a message that we're continuing to try to um hammer home with some of our families. And so what is it about your family that makes it so you guys won't take a no? The cook blood to be honest, um cooks are very um go-getters and doers. That's what they are. They're doers. And so if something is very important to them, they are going to do something about it. And I know the that advocate probably thought since we were so far away that we would not be there because I think a lot of people probably don't have the opportunity because one thing that was said was that during COVID, they started going to the Zoom, and so since then they haven't had people showing up, and I think they've discouraged it. But for us, it was very important to be there, very important to show that we weren't going to back down, but we want this guy kept in for life, and I think that's just what you have to do. And we've experienced that ourselves when we think about uh Michael's uncle's unsolved homicide and how we were trying to partner with the local sheriff office. And we made a little bit of headway, but it wasn't until we literally just walked into the sheriff's office one day and said, Hey, we want to meet with Sheriff Miller about Jody Kilgore's homicide. And while we didn't meet with Sheriff Miller, we did get a scheduled time to meet with uh um the lead detective and the chief information officer. And there's something different about being in the same space with people. I don't know if it makes you more credible or like you're an act, you're right there. It's very different than being in a virtual space. Well, I think in that scenario, putting a face with a name was important because you know, the couple things that happen is one, they realized we weren't going to go away. And they also realized that, you know, we're people. We're not just names on an email address somewhere that we actually are trying to actively do something. And so I'm actually still kind of I I heard just what you said about you know, everything went to Zoom during COVID and then they discourage it when they came back. I mean, the way I'm looking at it is, you know, we all went remote during COVID and we've all come back to work, so it's time to get back to work. That's right. Get back to life, get back to the way it should be, and you know, and being able to be there. Yes, over Zoom, we could have um because we did think about that, because you know, we're 1400 miles away, so we did think about that, but looking at a camera and talking to somebody to somebody is very different than sitting across the table and looking at three parole board members, and they are watching you, and you are looking them in the face, and you are telling them how you feel and your your story. You know, you have got every grown man in that room that sat there and spoke to that parole board because we get did get the chance to speak to the parole board, and they let all of us speak that wanted to. And every grown man in there sat there and and choked up, you know, constantly trying to get these words out, and you could see the parole board watching, they were very intently watching the people that were giving these statements and taking it in. And I don't feel like over a camera that would have happened. And that's 100% accurate. And that's one of the things that I really love that you all are doing with this newly created um nonprofit. And Lee has spoken to it, and Hannah has spoken to it, and and the resources and the support that you all are going to bring to families, um, and the acknowledgement that um not every family is fortunate enough to be able to travel um to go to a parole hearing like this, or even understand um the importance of them attending. Um, a parole hearing, I think is really, really valuable um work. So can you talk a tell us a little bit more about the nonprofit? It was originally the idea originally was to help um teenage girls, maybe like troubled teenage girls, um just help them get on their feet or um it wasn't it wasn't just a set thing, I guess. It was kind of it's been in the process of thinking through the years, and that was the way it was going. And then since the parole board and finding out how discouraging it is, how hard it is to get there, how much money it costs to get there. For us, we were able to do it for so many people, travel time just taking off of work to be able to go. People aren't people just can't do that. And so for our organization to be able to help people to go to these parole hearings that are so important to be face to face with these people. Um travel, travel time, you know, time off work, if we can help with that, even to if somebody needs somebody there with them, we are willing to do that, to go to a hearing with them, to support them, to be that victim advocate that they may not have in a an assigned person. How do people connect with you if they're needing that level of support? We have the Facebook page. Um, I think that's probably the best place to connect. Um I know Hannah, Hannah does all of the that part of it, so at this point I'm not sure all the ways. I know um there's been the setup to where people can donate. Um it's a nonprofit. Um, so all of the money will be used for helping people. So if somebody needs help, I I don't know, maybe the Facebook page is the best, and that's voices for Crystal. Um reach out on that. Yeah, and we saw um the QR code that Hannah just put out, and we posted that on our Tragedy, a True Crime podcast Facebook group. And also um, I posted that to my stories. So people can come to us as well, and of course, we would send them directly to you. So we want to make sure that people um know where they can donate to support, but also where they can reach out if they're um going to be experiencing um what you all have experienced as a family. One of the things that is super important to us as we go through this process is really staying victim-centered. And we've learned from you all and and some of our other families that it's not always victim-centered, right? Sometimes we're more crime-centered. And so, how do you hold on to Crystal as a person while navigating legal systems that often focus only on crime and criminals? That's been hard. Um, the I think starting the Facebook page when we did before the the hearing, that got a lot of people a lot of that information out that people didn't know was going on. And I think um keeping it putting her pictures up and putting the little clips on on things about her life and that she was a person, she was a real person, and she was alive and she was happy and she was beautiful and she had her whole life ahead of her and and then honoring her by setting up this organization in her name and helping people that are going through the same thing. Um that's that's how we are keeping her um alive when she's not here. Let's talk a little bit more about that parole hearing. We understand um from talking to Lee and Hannah uh that the person who is responsible for this crime uh is living uh a life in prison that maybe we wouldn't expect. So can you tell us what you learned about that during the parole hearing? When we sat there and listened to him speaking, he spoke for two hours. He got to speak for two hours to begin with, and we sat there and listened to him, and he spoke about all of the money he's made in prison. He spoke about artwork that he supposedly has done, and he was very into his artwork. He spoke about how he works out at the in the gym all the time, and he had to um buy shoes, he had to buy his vitamins, and so he needed money, and he he to sit there and listen to him speak about the life that he has lived in prison for 25 years, and there was no remorse about the murder, there was no accountability, there was no um punishment, I guess. There was no punishment whatsoever that last 25 years. He has been in prison, and the family has lived a nightmare, and he's sitting there talking about this life. He got married when he was in prison. He was in prison for a very long time, actually, before he got married. So he was able to meet somebody, get married while he was in prison. And this goes back to those rights that I don't feel that they should have. Once you commit a murder like this, you should not have those rights. And so to sit there and listen to him talking about this pampered life that he's led pretty much, um, and not had any form of punishment for the life that he took is is very discouraging for me. And I that is something that I'm really having a hard time with. And I don't think we've um been extra clear with what happened as a result of the parole hearing. So we know that the parole was denied, we know that part, but there's more than that, right? Yes. Yes. The the parole was denied. That the parole board, I have to say, I was very impressed with the parole board. Very impressed. I was very nervous going into it. There, we knew that there was three people on the board, um, two women and a man. Um it was in Oregon, so Oregon is a very liberal state. Um, so we were not sure what to expect, like if they would be very lenient or whatever. When they came into the room, you could tell they were pissed when they walked into the room. And I thought, oh no, they're mad at us because we pushed for all these people to be here and everything, and they weren't. They were they had had information beforehand about what he had been doing, and so they were after him, so they did give him another eight years before he's even eligible for parole again, and then there is also an investigation going on now. Um, the parole board did ask for an investigation. I heard that was only the second time in the man that's doing the investigation. Um, that's only the second time that a parole board has come to him and asked for an investigation to be done, I guess, from what I understand. So um that parole board, or yeah, the parole board really saw through him. And so there is an investigation going on, and um, I really Really hope that they do a lot more to him and hold him accountable for everything he's been doing in prison because he's been scamming people, but just some kind of punishment for the actual crime of murdering a 17-year-old girl and covering it up for a year and only it only being found out because somebody else told on him he would he still would be free and living his life if his dad wouldn't have ratted him out or however you want to say it. Um you know, he got away with it for a year. So there's just got to be some kind of punishment, some kind of accountability. The the pro board even asked him, Well, have you ever had to pay any restitution to the family? And he he had this look of like surprise on his face and like, no, I've never had to no, I've never had to pay anything. And it's like why why hasn't there been something? And so I'm really hoping with this investigation that the the goal is that he would be in prison for the rest of his life, no parole, no no chance of um being up for parole again, and that he would spend the rest of his life in prison and die in there, whenever that may be, you know, whether he's 80, whatever, 90, I don't care as long as he's uh in the prison walls. And I would like to see him not being able to do the things that he's doing now, scamming people. His pen pal, his pen pal name is the pampered prisoner. Yeah, yeah. And you know, he's just looking for victims to give him money, and it's just it's sickening. Well, one question I have is um on the way out the door from the parole board, did you you know get the opportunity to say, we'll see you in eight years because we're gonna be back? No, we did not know at that point, they didn't tell us, uh, they didn't make their decision for maybe it was like two weeks or so, and he was on Zoom, he was not in the room with us. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay. Yes, we were at the Oregon State prison in Salem, and he is was at the Snake River Institute or Snake River prison or whatever it is in um Eastern Oregon. Um, where is that? I can't think of the place where it is than Eastern Oregon. It's probably good for him though, because based on my conversation with Lee, I'm not sure he would have gotten out of that room alive. Yeah. Um, yeah, we won't go there. Right. Yeah. Uh yeah, there's some precautions that the the prison takes, um, like on what you can take in, how you can dress. I mean, it was very specific what you can wear and what you can't. Um, like any kind of metal, even like a berrette in your hair, you couldn't wear. Um, because it would set the metal metal detectors off. Um, underwire bras, you couldn't wear. Um that happens to me through TSA. Yeah. I didn't have that. As if some uh bling on my jeans once. Yes. I couldn't figure out what was going on. I was like, I don't have anything on me. Yes, I understand. Um, but and then you had to wear, you could not wear any kind of blue. No blue at all. And we asked, I said, well, why can you not wear blue? And it's because when prisoners are in the same room, the prisoners are in blue, and so they have nobody else in blue, so that if something happens, the guards can spot that prisoner right away. And before we end today, is there anything about Crystal or anything that you'd want listeners to carry with them after hearing your story that we haven't asked you? Well, there's there's one thing about Crystal that even though I did not meet her, there is a video of her, and it is my favorite. I've seen all of the pictures of when she was little and videos of when she's little and everything, but my favorite is she was at a worship service and there's a video of her standing at the altar with her eyes closed, her hands up in worship, and just praising the Lord, and it's just beautiful, beautiful to know that she was the Lord's. And no matter what was done to her, she is with him. You've been listening to Tragedy, a true crime podcast. Our purpose is to honor victims by sharing their stories through the voices of friends, family, and those whose lives were forever changed. If today's episode resonated with you, we encourage you to subscribe, leave a review, and share the podcast so these important stories continue to be heard. Together, we can preserve their memories and ensure their voices are never forgotten. If you have ideas for cases we should cover or questions about what you heard, you can connect with us through our Facebook group, Tragedy a True Crime Podcast, on X at Tragedy Podcast, by email at TragedyAtrue Crime Podcast at gmail.com, or by visiting our website www.tragedyatrucrime podcast.com. Thank you for listening, and we hope you'll join us next time.